Yer Metal Is Olde: Illwill – Evilution
In a recent discussion in the AMG halls, we shared some of the most obscure shit we have buried in our hard drives, burned to a CD, or kept hidden from the masses—hidden because we adore it too much to share or feel much shame. In this case, it’s the former. So, in an attempt to help the idiots on staff (and in the comments) who think an album ten years ago is iconic, I’ll share a gem you would be an idiot to ignore. While this piece could easily be a 90’s Weirdness bit, I am not here to shame the band members for making it. Evilution is the sole LP from quasi-supergroup Illwill. This odd band consisted of King Diamond and Mercyful Fate greats Andy LaRocque, Sharlee D’Angelo, and Snowy Shaw. While it’s common for these lads to form, join, or guest in many projects over the years, this might be one of the strangest collaborations in their storied careers.
Formed as a thrash band in 1997, Illwill puts a boot to the genre, each kick aiming for a different part of the body. The first kick is to the head from little-known vocalist Jonas Dahlström. This is odd because, at the time, Dahlström was the vocalist for Desert Plains, a Judas Priest cover band. While that would be odd enough for a thrash album, he goes apeshit on his approach to the music of Evilution, combining Judas Priest, Gwar, and other ungodly insanity. The second kick is to the balls by Snowy Shaw. When this dude is at the helm of any project, you know it’s gonna be fucking weird. And there’s absolutely no shortage of weirdness on Evilution. Even mentioning another thrash band as an influence would be a mistake. The last kick is to the throat. The lyrics alternate between tongue-in-cheek absurdity and downright hilarious to offensive-as-fuck and disgusting. So, stop reading if you’re easily offended by things that won’t hurt you.
You don’t have to wait long to hear Dahlström’s vocal approach as he counts down opener “Singh Hai” inappropriately. Beyond his vocals, you’ll notice the piercing guitar tone and drum master1 as we explore the song’s torture story. As the thrashy licks change and evolve, the vocals become more chaotic, spewing obscenities and absurdities to the bitter end. If you somehow made it through the opener, it doesn’t get any easier from here. In a few minutes, you’ll stumble over “Six Sec Sex.” If you want to continue having good sex, don’t wander into the lyric sheets for this one. The song is even more disturbing with the staccato vocal approach that’ll burn those three words in your skull for decades to cum. A little later, you’ll collide with the droner known as “Bid Farewell to Welfare.” With its long sustains and dissonant chords, Dahlström warbles on about welfare and some shit, while Shaw’s odd drum work fucks with your mind.
Between all this chaos, there are some remarkably badass songs. These include the “Whether With or Without,” “Who to Trust?,” and “365 Reasons to Commit Suicide.” The first is a thrashy three-minute piece combining solid riffage and a punchy chorus. Next to “365 Reasons to Commit Suicide,” this song has the most memorable chorus on the disc—one you’ll use when yelling at small children. “365 Reasons to Commit Suicide” is not only the most addictive song but also one of my top ten favorite thrash songs ever. Its approach is similar to “Whether With or Without,” but the riffs are meatier, and the intensity cuts deep. On the other side of the coin, “Who to Trust?” is a stellar piece consisting of an Iron Maiden-esque attitude that lets D’Angelo explore his inner Steve Harris.
Even with all this absurdity, there are moments when Dahlström can use his pipes. These moments come in the form of the back-to-back “Eternal Sleep” and “K.A.O.S.” “Eternal Sleep” kicks off with a punishing march, and D’Angelo bass leads to guide us to the soaring, melodic Judas Priest chorus. “K.A.O.S.,” on the other hand, rips out your butthole with an opening trash lick that transitions to a similar death march as “Eternal Sleep.” But the melody shines when the vocals dress in a tuxedo. Though not as pleasing as the track before, the song’s internal beauty-and-the-beast struggle is wholly worth it.
If you can make it through fifty-plus minutes of this bizarreness, you’ll find a lot of hidden treasures. As always, Shaw puts on one hell of a performance behind the kit, fucking around where he wants and adding heft to the heavier material on the album. Though King Diamond isn’t exactly fast and hard, LaRocque ain’t afraid to be. We’ve seen that on Death’s Individual Thought Patterns and now again on Evilution. In particular, his blisteringly-fast performance on “365 Reasons to Commit Suicide” is delicious. Throughout the album, you’ll also find D’Angelo’s bass rising to the surface, toying around with clever licks and adding unsettling atmospheres to some of the odder tracks. I’ve never heard Dahlström on anything else but Evilution. I can only imagine his voice can carry many Judas Priest tracks. But he doesn’t give a shit here. I guarantee most of you will hate his voice on Evilution, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
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